You’re a redneck if …. You ever ate road kill for dinner.
If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come
out, what are you when you’re in the bathroom?
If your father didn’t cut holes in your pockets at Christmas,
you wouldn’t have anything to play with.
People from the church would run over animals in front of your
house to help with food.
Beggars give you money.
You don’t have a pot to piss in, or a window to throw it out of.
When you asked your mom what’s for dinner she opened her legs
and said spaghetti!
Someone saw you kicking a can down the street, and when asked
what they were doing you said, “moving”.
You have too jack off your dog too feed your cat
If they had 10 cent boat rides down the river, all you could do
is run down the bank hollering “That’s real cheap!”
You can’t afford to pay attention
A guy walked into your house, stepped on a cigarette and your
mom yelled, “Who turned off the heat?”
Your parents got married for the rice.
I saw your mom walking down the street with one shoe, I said,
“Hey, you lost a shoe.” she said, “No, I found one.”
When you asked what was for dinner your mom put her foot on the
table and said corn.
You live in a 2 story cracker jack box.
Someone rang your doorbell and you had to yell “Ding Dong!” out
When someone asks where the bathroom is, your mom says “pick a
corner… any corner.”
You have to fart to get a scent (cent).
You’re so poor your mother couldn’t afford to have you…the
lady next door had you.
You go to KFC and lick other peoples fingers.
You buy an imitation of a fake Rolex.
Burglars bring things to you.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that’s where you’re supposed to wash vegetables!
You’re so ugly, your dog has to close its eyes when it humps your leg!