Tag Archives: your

So what is your name?

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. “What is your name?” Was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.

“John,” the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, “Look, I don’t know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name! It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.

I refer to my employees by their last name only — Smith, Jones, Baker — that’s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson.

Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?”
The new guy sighed and said, “Darling. My name is John Darling.”

“Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is…”

The Top 12 Office Activities the First Day of Your Boss’s Vacation

12. Best imitation of the boss wins everything in the supply room contest.

11. Lock-jimmying contest, immediately followed by a charity raffle of executive office furniture.

10. The battle begins for the coveted “Solitaire, Minesweeper, Tetris” Triple Crown.

9. Use boss’ computer to send suggestive emails to the local chapter of NOW.

8. Visit local nude beach for daily *staff* meeting.

7. A rousing game of “Pin the Secretary’s Tail on the Boss’ Desk.”

6. Staple that dweeb from accounting to the wall.

5. Take pictures of his favorite coffee cup in the toilet. Save for resignation day.

4. Purchasing vs. Receiving: Let’s Get Ready to Rummmmbllllle!

3. Wagering on intern lip lock endurance matches in the file room.

2. “Performance reviews” given by a whimsical painted face on the shipping clerk’s bare ass.

1. Convincing the boss’s daughter be your intern.

[ This list copyright by Chris White ]

[ The Top 5 List http://www.topfive.com ]

You’ve given your gun a

You’ve given your gun a woman’s name.Baling wire and a pair of pliers are what you consider high tech tools.You go to the post office to research your family tree.

Mark Your Calendar

A very important event is going to happen on May the 4th. I’m telling you so early because it’s so important. I urge each of you to mark that date on your calendars with the letters BU. It’s very important that you include the letter B with the letter U; you may miss the importance of the event without it.

So go now, and mark your calendars. Keep repeating to yourselves as you walk to the calendar, so you don’t forget: May the 4th, B with U; May the 4th, B with U….

If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine…

If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you, what
have you usually done wrong?

Made her chain too long.