Tag Archives: with

The Top 16 Signs the Left Is Unhappy With the Election Results

16> Alec Baldwin signs up for yet another round of French lessons.15> Bruce Springsteen starts working on his new “Moved From the USA” album.14> Dems sponsor a bill making the uttering of the phrase “I told you so” punishable by death.13> George Soros buys a small Eastern European country with which to console himself.12> Michael Moore is so depressed he’s started to let himself go, and Sean Penn can’t find the will to hit anyone.11> Smoke alarms sound across the Northeast as distraught liberals forget to take their baked brie out of the oven.10> Convoys of Volvos crowd the Gay Head cliffs on Martha’s Vineyard and plunge lemming-like into the sea.9> The “Vote for Change” tour reunites as the “Panhandling for Change” tour.8> Thinking that the cameras are turned off, Dan Rather curls up in the fetal position and sobs uncontrollably.7> Chris White publishes a whiny little list about it.6> Al Franken starts work on his new book: “Lies, Lying Liars, and the Big Fat Idiot Ohio Voters Who– Oh, Why the Hell Do I Bother?”5> The DNC FedExes maps of key Ohio cities to Osama bin Laden.4> Al Gore claims that since he actually won in 2000, America just re-elected *him*.3> John Edwards has come so unglued, he actually has a hair out of place.2> Tom Daschle considers moving to a state that has building tall enough to jump from.1> In a back-alley brawl, Zell Miller ferociously kicks his own ass for being a spineless Democrat. [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]

Never argue with a fool,

Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.

Sleeping with the Se

Mr. Briggs spent the night in his secretarys apartment. He woke up at three in the morning.”My God!” he shouted, “My wife is going to kill me!” Unsure of how he would explain it, he ran to the nearest pay phone and called his wife.”Honey!” he began, “Dont pay the ransom. I escaped!”

Wash with holy water

Four nuns died simultaneously in a car crash and arrived at the
pearly gates. St. Peter asked the first nun, “Have you ever
touched a penis?” “Yes, father,” she replied, “I once touched a
man’s penis with the very tip of my finger.” “Swish that
offending finger in holy water,” St. Peter instructed, “say a
prayer begging forgiveness, and cross over into the promised
land.”

The second nun said, “Yes, father, I once touched a man’s penis
with my whole hand.” St. Peter instructed this second offending
girl to douse her entire hand in the holy water, say two prayers
begging mercy, and proceed to heaven.

As nun #3 approached, nun #4 shoved her aside, “Father,” she
shouted, “if you expect me to gargle with that crap AFTER she
dunks her ass in there, you’ve got another thing coming!”

Yo Mamma So Short She Play Basketball with…

Yo Mamma So Short She Play Basketball with a Coco Puff And A Cherrio