Tag Archives: ways

Ways to confuse a roommate

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.140. Put up flyers around the building, reporting that your roommate is missing. Offer a reward for his/her safe return.

Ways to confuse a roommate

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.22. Eat only lemons. Every five minutes, offer your roommate a lemon.

Ways to confuse a roommate

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.19. Ask your roommate if your family can move in “just for a couple of weeks.”

Ways to Say “He’s Dumb”

1. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
2. The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.
3. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
4. Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
5. Forgot to pay his brain bill.
6. A few clowns short of a circus.
7. If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
8. Too much yardage between the goal posts.
9. A few beers short of a six-pack.
10. Dumber than a box of hair.
11. A few peas short of a casserole.
12. One taco short of a combination plate.
13. All foam, no beer.
14. The cheese slid off his cracker.
15. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
16. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt. 2
17. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. 18. An intellect
rivaled only by garden tools.
19. As smart as bait.
20. His belt doesn’t go through all the loops.
21. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
22. Surfing in Nebraska.
22. In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little farther apart than
most.
23. One sandwich short of a picnic.
24. The light’s on, but nobody’s home.
25. If dumb were dirt, he’d cover about an acre.

20 Ways to Say "Your Fly Is Open"

20. The cucumber has left the salad.
19. I can see the gun of Navarone.
18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging
out.
17. You’ve got Windows in your laptop.
16. Sailor Ned’s trying to take a little shore leave.
15. Your soldier ain’t so unknown now.
14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.
13. Paging Mr. Johnson… Paging Mr. Johnson…
12. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked
position.
11. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
8. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck,
Sir!
7. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6. Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5. You’ve got your fly set for “Monica” instead of “Hillary.”
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction…
3. You’ve got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2. I’m talking about Shaft, can you dig it?

AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HIS FLY IS UNZIPPED…

1. I thought you were crazy; now I see your nuts.