Tag Archives: this

Why did Monica Lewinski vote republican this year?

Because the democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.

This black guy walks into

This black guy walks into this bar, with a parrot.

The bartender asked “What would you like?”

The parrot said “A Budlight”

The amazed bartener started to ask the man “Where did you get him?”

But the parrot interupted “Africa!! There’s a thousands of ’em!”

If this company ran Christmas…

If Cray ran Christmas…The holiday season would cost $16 million but would be celebrated faster than any other holiday during the year.

Firm THIS up!

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on the butt and said, “If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose.”

While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent.

The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said, “You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra.”

This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by his penis.

With a death grip in place, she said, “You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the postman, the poolman and your brother.”

Submitted by Clark Kent
Edited by Curtis

Thers this one time i walked into a Funeral…

Thers this one time i walked into a Funeral home and theres this lady, not to be mean or anything but that lady weighed at least 350 to 400lbs and she was singing a song called”love lift me up” well i”ll tell you one thing, love aint gonna lift that lady up without a winch.