One hot summer afternoon a woman is at the local public swimming
pool when she notices a man smoking a cigarette underwater.
She is astounded that such a thing can be so she asks him how he
“It’s easy.” He said. “I just use a condom.”
“Where can I get them?” The woman asked.
“Just go into any drugstore and ask for them.” The man tells her.
The next day she goes into her local drugstore and asks the
clerk for a condom.
“Any particular kind?” He asks.
“Yes,” she replied. “One that will fit a camel.”
Q. What’s a dog that swallowed a watch?
A. A Watchdog
Q. Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A. They had pictures of lawyers on them …
and people couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.
Two friends out fishing for carp.The one chap stands up and as he does,his wallet falls into the water and slowly starts to sink to the bottom of the lake.As he feverishly attempts to retrieve it,two huge carp appear and both grab the wallet in their mouths and start fighting over it’s possession. The fellow turns to his friend and says “First time I see carp to carp walleting”.
My friend and I used to joke about all that could happen wrong
when we traveled together.
1) I fart and the oxagen masks fly down
2) I fart and burn a whole through the plane and we have to land
3) I have to go to the restroom so bad and someone is in it so I
lift my leg on the door
4) I ride underneath the plane with the luggage