Tag Archives: first

One day on the first day of school

One day on the first day of school, a teacher was taking attendance and
noticed that many students of hers were missing…..a few minutes passes and
Tony walks in. The teacher Miss Rose asked “where he had been”. Tony says “oh…
I was on top of strawberry hill. Miss Rose says okay. Don’t let it happen again.
Then 10 minutes passes. Drew walks in and Miss Rose asked “where he had been.”
He says on top of Strawberry hill. Miss Rose says “okay, dont let it happen
again. Then 15 minutes passes by and Mike walks in. Miss Rose asked “where he
had been.” He says on top of Strawberry hill. Miss Rose was starting to wonder
what was going on up there but she minds her business and figures there’s a car
accident or something. Then finally 2 hrs later a little girl walks in and Miss
Rose asked “where have you been, on top of strawberry hill?”…The little girl
goes. No Miss Rose I am Strawberry Hill……

The first rule of intelligent tinkering…

The first rule of intelligent tinkering

Save all the parts.

The Top 12 Office Activities the First Day of Your Boss’s Vacation

12. Best imitation of the boss wins everything in the supply room contest.

11. Lock-jimmying contest, immediately followed by a charity raffle of executive office furniture.

10. The battle begins for the coveted “Solitaire, Minesweeper, Tetris” Triple Crown.

9. Use boss’ computer to send suggestive emails to the local chapter of NOW.

8. Visit local nude beach for daily *staff* meeting.

7. A rousing game of “Pin the Secretary’s Tail on the Boss’ Desk.”

6. Staple that dweeb from accounting to the wall.

5. Take pictures of his favorite coffee cup in the toilet. Save for resignation day.

4. Purchasing vs. Receiving: Let’s Get Ready to Rummmmbllllle!

3. Wagering on intern lip lock endurance matches in the file room.

2. “Performance reviews” given by a whimsical painted face on the shipping clerk’s bare ass.

1. Convincing the boss’s daughter be your intern.

[ This list copyright by Chris White ]

[ The Top 5 List http://www.topfive.com ]

First Name

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come
into his office.
“What is your name?” was the first thing the manager asked him.
“John,” the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, “Look, I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you
worked at before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds
familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees
by their last name only – Smith, Jones, Baker – that’s all. I am to be referred
to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last
name?”

The new guy sighed and said, “Darling. My name is John Darling.”

“Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is…”

Top 7 things Elian Gonzalez’s Dad said his first day in the United States

1. I want to thank your great land for not turning my young boy into a political football.2. I will only be interviewed by respected ABC newsman Leonardo DiCaprio.3. As long as I’m here, I also want to take back Jennifer Lopez.4. Please don’t let Robert Urich play me in the movie version of this whole mess.5. I don’t care if you are from the Yankees – I can’t pitch!6. Elian can wait – first I visit the grave of Ricky Ricardo.7. I bow to your superior capitalist system which has given the world the hat that holds two beer cans.- “The Late Show with David Letterman”