Tag Archives: don’t

Things You Don’t Want To Hear

Things you don’t want to hear during surgery:

Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
Someone call the janitor – we’re going to need a mop
“Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness”
Spot! Spot! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
Hand me that…uh…that…uh…..thingie
Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
Damn, there go the lights again…
“Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy’s got two of ’em.”
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
Could you stop that thing from beating; it’s throwing my concentration off.
What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change…!
Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donor card?
Don’t worry; I think it’s sharp enough.
What do you mean “You want a divorce”!
She’s gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out of here!

I don’t think you can

I don’t think you can really know how heavy something is until it has
fallen on you.

– LeMel Hebert-Williams

Dont pick on blonds ! o ok then go on !

2 blonds walk into a bar .>..>…> u think 1 of them would of seen it !

( we arnt all dumb you no just 50% are )

Don’t help them

A man came home from work sporting two black eyes.

“What happened to you?” asked his wife.

“I’ll never understand women,” he replied. “I was riding up in an escalator behind this pretty young girl, and I noticed that her skirt was stuck in the crack of her ass. So I pulled it out, and she turned around and punched me in the eye!”

“I can certainly appreciate that,” said the wife, “but how did you get the second black eye?”

“Well, I figured she liked it that way,” said the husband, “so I pushed it back in.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

Why don’t they teach driver’s

Why don’t they teach driver’s education and sex education on the
same day in Iraq?
– They don’t want to wear out the camel.