Category Archives: Travel / Vacation Jokes

Bono & hitchhikers

Bono is known as charitable but he’s cautious too. I mean, he’ll pick up hitchhikers then make them ride in the trunk.

Not His Day

A young, lonely guy driving across the country decided to pick
up a stunning, blonde hitchhiker. A few miles into the trek, the
blonde started coming onto him, so needless to say, he pulled
over to the side of the desolate, deserted road so she could
give him some oral pleasure. Once his pants were down to his
ankles, the blonde surprised him with a gun and bound his wrists
to his ankles. Then, she robbed him of his wallet and clothes,
and drove off with his car.

Once she was out of sight, the man struggled to his feet and
began hopping alongside the road in a desperate attempt to get
something’s help.

A short time later, a trucker pulled up alongside the troubled
man. “What happened to you?” asked the trucker, with a grin. The
man explained his plight… The trucker stepped down from his
truck, and as he unzipped his pants he remarked, “This just
ain’t been your day, has it boy!”

Chrysler

The Chrysler Building in New York City is 75 years old.

That makes it nearly as old as the average Chrysler customer.

-Jim Barach

Handy Arab Phrases

Useful Phrases To Know When Traveling Through Arab Countries:

AKBAR KHALI-KILI HAFTIR LOFTAN. Thank you for showing me your marvelous
gun.

FEKR GABUL GARDAN DAVAT PAEH GUSH DIVAR. I am delighted to accept your
kind invitation to lie down on the floor with my arms above my head and my
legs apart

SHOMAEH FEKR TAMOMEH OEH GOFTEH BANDE. I agree with everything you have
ever said or thought in your life.

AUTO ARRAREGH DAVATEMAN MANO SEPAHEH-HAST. It is exceptionally kind of you
to allow me to travel in the trunk of your car.

FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESHAYE MOHEMARA
JEBEHKESHVAREHMAN. If you will do me the kindness of not harming my
genital appendages I will gladly reciprocate by betraying my country in
public.

KHREL, JEPAHEH MANEH VA JAYEII AMRIKAHEY. I will tell you the names and
addresses of many American spies traveling as reporters.

BALLI, BALLI, BALLI! Whatever you say!

MATERNIER GHERMEZ AHLIEH, GHORBAN. The red blindfold would be lovely, your
excellency.

TIKEH NUNEH BA OB KHRELLEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO BEGERAM. The
water-soaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you. I must have the recipe.

Decoy

Staking out a notoriously rowdy bar for possible D.U.I. violators, a cop watched from his squad car as a fellow stumbled out the door, tripped on the curb and tried 45 cars before opening the door to his own and falling asleep on the front seat.

One by one, the drivers of the other cars drove off. Finally, the sleeper woke up, started his car and began to leave. The cop pulled him over and administered a Breathalyzer test. When the results showed a 0.0 blood-alcohol level, the puzzled policeman asked him how that was possible.

“Easy,” was the reply. “Tonight was my turn to be the decoy”