I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and…If you don’t like my driving, don’t call anyone. Just take another road. That’s why the highway department made so many of them.When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.Try a little kindness. As little as possible. Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down.
When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink? Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in? If you’re cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?It’s a dog eat dog world out there. And they’re short on napkins. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Never trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
Toast always lands butter-side down.
And cats always land on their feet.
What would happen if you spread butter on a cat’s back and dropped it out of a window?