Notice in a dry cleaner’s window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF. Sign on motorway garage: PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS. YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS.Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope
Amana Washer $100.
Owned By Clean Bachelor Who Seldom Washed.
Sign on the door of the maternity ward: “Push Push Push.” Sign at entrance of the IRS: “Watch your step.” Sign at the exit of the IRS: “Watch your mouth.” Sign in a bookstore: “We treat you write.” Sign on a front door: “Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.”
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.