Q. How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A. Kick his sister in the jaw.
You might be a redneck if…You don’t know what a redneck is.You’re still upset that they canceled “The Dukes of Hazzard”. You thought ER was ET’s cousin.You think a strip joint is where they disassemble cars. You are in 6 grade and the only one in your family that can write your name.You’ve ever been stuck in your own driveway. You refer to your dog as the dishwasher. Your car is made out of 17 others and each part is a different color. You repair your car in the autoparts store parking lot. You can name all the characters from the “Dukes of Hazzard”. You recite lines from “The Dukes of Hazzard”. You keep track of all the belt holders in all the wrestling leagues. You got married in the family car, in a drive-thru chapel. You search your computer monitor for the dial that changes channels. Your idea of a fancy dessert is “moon pie ala mode”. You just bought your family their lst Atari game system. You and your wife celebrate your anniversay at the K-mart cafeteria. You think the only tools “real men” need are duck tape and caulk, and you have sucessful repair projects to prove it. You’ve tried to quote Jeff Foxworthy and screwed it up. You name your car the General Lee.
The oak tree in the front yard is an essential piece of automotive repair equipment (how else are you gonna pull the engine out of the old Dodge?)Instead of locking the doors of your house, you keep a shotgun within reach, “just in case”.You consider pickled deer organs a delicacy.
You’re a redneck if …. You ever ate road kill for dinner.
You might be a redneck if you have more than one living relative named after a
southern civil war general.