Category Archives: Professionals Jokes

Josh Thinks It Over

One day, Josh went over to Ben’s to have a look at the small yacht he was selling. Ben had it on dry land because it had a small gash in its keel. But other then that, what a fine yacht it was….a mahogany deck, the latest in navigational gears, including a state of the art fish-finder. Ben wanted just $5,000 for it and assured Josh he would even have the keel repaired himself.
Well, Josh needed time to think it over so off he went fishing. He took his small aluminum boat out into the bay and it wasn’t 5 minutes later, when he got his first bite. He pulled his line in and found he had caught a nice-sized cod. As he was taking the hook out, the fish spoke to him:

Fish: “Please release me, let me go. I am the last of my species and if you put me back in the water, I will grant you a wish.”

Josh thought for a second and then said, “I wish this here small boat of mine, was a small yacht just like Ben’s.”

The following day, Josh was found clinging to a buoy after the small yacht he was fishing in, sank from damage to its keel.

Why do they bury lawyers twenty-six feet underground?…

Why do they bury lawyers twenty-six feet underground?

Because deep down they’re really nice guys.

The Rabbit, Bear and Genie

There was a Genie that saw a bear chasing a rabbit the genie said if the bear stops he will grant them each two wishes. They Agree the bear says ” I want to have the bigest penis that any bear ever had so it is granted the rabbit says ” I want a motorcycle” the genie shrugs and grants his wish. Then the bear said I want all the bears but me to be female that is also granted then the rabbit starts his motorcycle and says ” I wish the bear was gay” and rides off.

Garlic On Board

A workman who was extremely fond of garlic boarded a bus in a Southern city, and sat himself down next to a haughty, sour-faced woman. She immediately became aware of the garlic fragrance, and observed icily, “It’s a wonder they don’t run a special bus for persons who insist on eating garlic.”

The workman cheerfully answered, “They do lady, you’re on the wrong bus.”

Circumsizing a whale

How do you circumsize a whale?

you send down four-skin divers.