Category Archives: Politics Jokes

Congress: Effective or Efficient

Pro and Con are opposites, right? So then doen;t it follow that congress is
the opposite of progress!

The Top 16 Signs the Left Is Unhappy With the Election Results

16> Alec Baldwin signs up for yet another round of French lessons.15> Bruce Springsteen starts working on his new “Moved From the USA” album.14> Dems sponsor a bill making the uttering of the phrase “I told you so” punishable by death.13> George Soros buys a small Eastern European country with which to console himself.12> Michael Moore is so depressed he’s started to let himself go, and Sean Penn can’t find the will to hit anyone.11> Smoke alarms sound across the Northeast as distraught liberals forget to take their baked brie out of the oven.10> Convoys of Volvos crowd the Gay Head cliffs on Martha’s Vineyard and plunge lemming-like into the sea.9> The “Vote for Change” tour reunites as the “Panhandling for Change” tour.8> Thinking that the cameras are turned off, Dan Rather curls up in the fetal position and sobs uncontrollably.7> Chris White publishes a whiny little list about it.6> Al Franken starts work on his new book: “Lies, Lying Liars, and the Big Fat Idiot Ohio Voters Who– Oh, Why the Hell Do I Bother?”5> The DNC FedExes maps of key Ohio cities to Osama bin Laden.4> Al Gore claims that since he actually won in 2000, America just re-elected *him*.3> John Edwards has come so unglued, he actually has a hair out of place.2> Tom Daschle considers moving to a state that has building tall enough to jump from.1> In a back-alley brawl, Zell Miller ferociously kicks his own ass for being a spineless Democrat. [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]

My Position

A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey.
“If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I’m against it.”

“But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I’m for it.

“This is my position, and I will not compromise!”

Answer from Heaven

A little boy wanted $100 so badly that he prayed for two weeks. But nothing
happened; so he decided to write God a letter asking for the money. When the
postal authorities received the letter addressed to “GOD, USA”, hey decided to
send it to President Clinton. Bill was so impressed, touched, and amused that he
instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill.
The little boy was delighted with the $5, and sat down to write a thank you
note to God, which read; “Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the
money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had it sent through
Washington, DC, and as usual, those guys deducted $95.”

Why did Monica Lewinski vote republican this year?

Because the democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.