Category Archives: Other Jokes

Money talks.

A one dollar bill met a 20 dollar bill and said, “Hey, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around here much.”

The twenty answered, “I’ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?”

The one dollar bill said, “You know, same old stuff, church, church, church.”

Government Employee&

A State Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what’s in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp.”This will look nice on my mantelpiece,” he decides, and takes it home with him.While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes.”I wish for an ice cold diet pepsi right now!” He gets his pepsi and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish.”I wish to be on an island where beautiful nymphomaniacs reside.” Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish: “I wish I’d never have to work ever again.”POOF!He’s back in his government office.

Polish Medical Terminology

POLISH MEDICAL TERMNINOLOGY FOR THE LAYMAN

artery- the study of fine painting
barium- what you do when the patient dies
beneign – what you are after you are eight
cesarean section- a district in Rome
colic- a sheep dog
congenital – friendly
dilate – to live long
fester – quicker
G.I. series – baseball game between soldiers
hangnail – coat hook
medical staff – a doctors cane
minor operation – coal digger
morbid – a higher offer
nitrate – lower than the day rate
node – was aware of
organic – church musician
out-patient – a person who has fainted
post-operative – a letter carrier
protein – in favor of young people
secretion – hiding anything
serology – study of English knighthood
tablet – a small table
tumor – an extra pair
urine – opposite of your out
varicose veins – veins very close together

Dirty Hands

A teacher observed a boy entering the classroom with dirty hands. She stopped him and said, “Johnny, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?”With a smile the boy replied, “I think I’d be too polite to mention it.”

Senor

What do you call a Spanish gay guy?

A senor-eater.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Clark Kent