Category Archives: Music Jokes

The Top 14 Rhymes in the Al-Qaeda Rap Song

14> My rhymes are hot, just like Shakira.
Um… whose songs I ain’t heard,
‘cuz they’re banned from Al-Jazeera.

13> If Sports Illustrated tempts you with swimsuit models,
Give praise to Allah and keep your hands off your throttles.

12> All you gots to do is pull the grenade ring,
And soon you’ll be wearin’ Allah’s bling-bling.

11> We’ll teach you to fly and we’ll make you a man,
But skip the last lesson, ‘cuz you won’t need to land!

10> To Allah you can give your soul,
Just don’t go down in no spider hole!

9> Al-Qaeda’s rulz:
Ya bodies are toolz for blowin’ up da churchz and da schoolz.
Ya blood’s in poolz, while ya leadaz live on to recruit
mo’ foolz.

8> Those infidel women drive Allah berserka!
Can’t someone please get Janet Jackson a burqa?

7> Ain’t nobody doper than our man, Osama.
He’s so phat, he out-phats yo’ mama.

6> Seventy-two virgins is paradise’s promise.
Let’s hope their names ain’t Harry, Frank or Thomas.

5> Allah Akhbar, let’s hit the crack bar.
In victory, we’ll smoke us a fatwa!

4> My name is Osama and I’m one badass bomba.
I got a beard like yo’ daddy, but I dress like yo’ mama.

3> Yo, it’s me you see, with lots of TNT in my BVDs.
Cool as can be, like Scott Bakula playin’ Dracula.
They’ll be cleanin’ up my insides with a spatula.

2> I’m the mutha of Mullahs, the baddest in Al-Qaeda.
I’ll fry Yankee ass like a bag of Ore-Ida.

1> Join one of our cells and be all invisible.
Slipping fives to strippers, just like an infizzidel.

[ The Top 5 List ]
[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]

Viola joke

Q: What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?A: Violists.

Viola joke

Q: Which positions does a violist use?A: First, third, and emergency.

Piano joke

Q: What do you say to an army officer as you’re about to run him or her over with a steam roller?A: Be flat, major.

Clarinet joke

Q: What do you call a bass-clarinetist with half a brain?A: Gifted.