Category Archives: Movies & TV Jokes

Better Star Wars Dialogue

Lines from Star Wars that can be improved if you substitute the word
“Pants” for key words:

We’ve got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.

The pants may not look like much, kid, but they’ve got it where it counts.

I find your lack of pants disturbing.

Many bothans died to bring us these pants.

These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use

Han will have those pants down. We’ve got to give him more time!

General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface attack.

I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.

TK-421… Why aren’t you in your pants?

Lock the door. And hope they don’t have pants.

You are unwise to lower your pants.

She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to
retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.

Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.

You look strong enough to pull the pants off a Gundark.

Luke… Help me remove these pants.

Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.

That blast came from those pants. That thing’s operational!

Luke…..I am your pants.

A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my
old master.

Don’t worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily
guarded than this.

Maybe you’d like it back in your pants, your highness.

Luke, search your pants. You know it is true.

Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially
one… Your sister!

Jabba doesn’t have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first
sign of an Imperial Cruiser.

Dr. Evil

Why did Dr. Evil cross the road?

To get Austin Power’s Mo-Jo.

Top 13 New Star Wars Movies

13. Star Wars I: “Star Trek, the Next Generation” kisses our Jedi ass.

12. Just Hand Over the Wallet, and Nobody Gets Hurt

11. Springtime for Vader

10. Episode I: Mr. Lucas Wants A Bigger Boat

9. Obi Wan, Chaka Khan. Chaka Khan, Obi Wan.

8. Your turn, Steven.

7. The Toys-R-Us Christmas ’99 Catalog

6. Boba Fett’s Not In It So Don’t Even Ask, Fanboy!!!!

5. Titanic *THIS*, Jim Cameron!

4. Star Wars I (Harrison Ford Not Included)

3. Star Wars: Yoda Man! No, Yoda Man!

2. There’s Something About Money

1. Come To Papa, You Geeks

Smurfs Make Love

Do you know how ‘Smurfs’ make love?

They smuck!

Fun things to do with your tv

Adjust the tint so that the people are green and insist to
others that “you like it like that”
Fiddle with all the knobs constintly
Change chanels 5 minutes before the end of each show
Take it everywhere with you
Name it
When anyone else touches the remote shriek “THATS MINE!”
Ask the people on call in shows for dates
Watch the commercials but never watch the shows
At the climax of a show “accidently” muteit until it is over
Stand in front of someone when they are watching the tv
One word” Documentries
Watch only reruns of shows
Tell people what will happen in the show your watching
Turn the tv off when guests are over and tell them you won’t
turn it on until it apologizes
Dress it differently every day
When watching a sports show comment to your friends that “I
could do better”
Make you friends watch you video of how clay is made again, and
again, and again, and again.