Category Archives: Little Johnny Jokes

Stupid Elephant Jokes

How can you tell when an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

Footprints in the butter!

Can I’ve A Job?

This kid walks into a general store one day and asks for a job.

The owner tells him that he doesn’t need any help.

The kid is persistent so the guy tells him to watch him when the next customer comes in. If he can do what he does, he’ll give him a job.

A few minutes later a customer comes in. “Good afternoon sir. What can I do for you?”

The guy says, “I need some grass seed.”

So the owner goes and gets it. When he gets back he says, “How about a lawn mower to go with this.”

“What do I need a lawn mower for?”

“Well when the grass grows your going to need something to cut it with.”

“Yea, OK, I’ll take a lawn mower too.”

After the customer was gone, the owner turned to the kid and said, “That’s how it’s done. Can you do that?”

The kid said, “Sure.”

So the next customer comes in and says, “I need some Tampax.”

The kid says, “Yes sir.”, and goes after them.

When he gets back he says, “Would you like a lawn mower to go with that?”

The guy says, “What the hell do I need a lawn mower for?”

The kid replies, “You might as well cut the grass. Your weekend is shot, that’s for sure…..”

Child beatng

In the courtroom the judge is asking the little boy, “Do you want to live with your mother?” The little boy says, “No, she beats me.” The judge says, “Do you want to live with your father?” “No, he beats me too,” says the little boy. The judge scratches his head and says, “Ok, son, then who do you want to live with?” Without a moment’s hesitation the boy says loudly, “The Houston Astros, because they don’t beat anybody.”

Alcohol

A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol.

He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.

“All right, son,” asked the father, “what does that show you?”

“Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms.”

What’s That?

Little Johnny is in the bathroom talking to his Mum while she has a shower.

He points between her legs at her shaven twat and says, “what’s that Mummy”

“Oh, that’s where Daddy hit me with an Axe” she says.

and Little Johnny says “Wow, good shot, right in the cunt”