The worst disaster in Polands history happend today when two
seater Cessna 120 airplane crashed in a cemetery. So far, 326
bodies have been found. Polish search and rescue team believe
the number will rise as they continue to dig.
One day ima go to New York to a bigga hotel. I go down to eat
soma breakfast. Iwanna two piss toast. She branga me only onea
piss. I tella her i wanna two piss. She say go to the toilet. I
say you no understand. I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you
better no piss on the plate you sonna ma bitch. I don’t even
know the lady and she calla me a sonna ma bitch.
Later i go to eat soma lunch at Drake restaurant, the waitress
bringa me a spoon, ana knife, but no fock. I tella her i wanna
fock. She tellsa me everybody wanna fock. I tella her, you no
understand, i wanna fock on the table. She say you better not
fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. I don’t even know the
lady and she call me a sonna ma bitch.
So i go back to my room inna hotel, an there’s no sheet on the
bed. I calla the manager and tella him i wanna sheit. He tellsa
me to go to the toilet. So i say you no understand, i wanna
sheit on the bed. He say you better not sheit on the bed you
sonna ma bitch. I don’t even know tha man and he call me sonna
I go to check out and the man at the desk, he say peace to you.
I say piss onna you too, you sonna ma bitch. I GO BACK TO
What do you call a Serbian prostitute?
What is the difference between Hitler and a station wagon?
If you don’t know you must be pretty stupid.
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish [Euro for
In the first year, ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly,
sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard ‘c’ will be
replased with ‘k’. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters
kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome ‘ph’ will be replased by ‘f’. This will make words like
‘fotograf’ 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which ahve always
ben a deternent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes
of silent ‘e’ in the languaj is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the forth uer, peopl wil be receptiv to steps such as replasing the
‘th’ by ‘z’ and the ‘w’ by ‘v’. During the fifz uer, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan
be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’, and similar changes nud of kors be
splid to ozeer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli senisbl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor tubls or difikultis and avrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.