Category Archives: Current Events Jokes

One At A Time

Use to be that the Kennedy men only drown their women one at a time.

Lorena Bobbit in Car Accident

Did you hear? Lorena Bobbit was killed in a car accident.

Some dick cut her off!

Space Technology

LONDON (AP) – Russian scientists are developing a cocktail of
bacteria that will eat underpants in an effort to find new ways
to dispose of astronauts’ dirty underwear. The project, aimed at
long space missions lasting months, such as a trip to Mars, is
reported in this week’s issue of New Scientist, a London-based
science magazine. The methane gas given off by the disposal unit
could be used to power the spacecraft, the scientists told the
magazine. “This will be a revolution in the science of
biodegradation,” said Vyacheslav Ilyin, head of the microbial
ecology laboratory at the Institute for Biological and Medical
Problems at the Russian State Research Center.

Bin Laden Christmas Carol

T’was the night before Christmas and all through the land,
They’re running like rabbits in Afghanistan.
Osama’s been praying, he’s down on his knees,
He’s hoping that Allah will hear all his pleas.

He thought if he killed us that we’d fall and shatter,
But all that he’s done is just made us madder.
We have not forgotten our Marines in Beirut,
And we’ll kick your butt, with one heavy boot.

And yes we remember the USS Cole,
And the lives of our sailors that you bastards stole.
You think you can rule us and cause us to fear,
You’ll soon get the answer, if you live to hear.

And we haven’t forgotten your buddy Saddam,
And he hasn’t forgotten the sound of our bombs.
You think that those mountains are somewhere to hide,
They’ll go down in history as the place where you died.

Remember Khadhafi and his line of death?
He came very close, to his final breath.
So come out and prove that you are a man,
‘Cause our boys are coming and they have a plan.

They are our fathers and they are our sons,
And they sure do carry some mighty big guns.
They would have stayed home with their children and wives,
‘Till you bastards came here and took all their lives.

Osama I wrote this especially for you,
For our air mail delivery is by B-52.
You soon will be hearing a thud and a whistle,
Old Glory is coming, attached to a missile.

I will not be sorry to see your ass go,
It’s the Red, White, & Blue that is running this show!!!!

Monica Lewinsky Doesn’t Like Frozen Yogurt

Why doesn’t Monica Lewinsky like frozen yogurt?

Because it doesn’t go flying down her throat 30 miles an hour!