these two guys walk across a field but soon get stopped by the owner. the owner is mad cuz he doesnt like anybody walking in his field. anyway he tells the two men that unless they dont do what he tells them to he will shoot their heads off. so the owner lets them sleep in his barn for one day. late that night when they two men were sleeping the owner came and woke both of them up and told them to go out in the field and pick out any fruit or vegetable of their choice. so the two men obeyed and went. one of the men came back with a melon then the owner told him to bend over and shove it up his ass. the the man started laughing and the owner was asking why is he laughing at a moment like this then the guy said “because my friend out there is picking a watermelon”!
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?”
Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.”
“That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?”
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.”
“Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?”
Billy proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks.”
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy’s house and rang the bell. Billy’s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.
Billy’s father said, “I’m actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?”
One day little johnny was sitting in his house when the door knocked
he ran to open it with a bottle whiskey in one hand and a cigar in the other
thae sales person at the door said is your parents home
little johnny said [what the @#$% you think}
Will you know me tommorow? Will you next week? Will you know me next year? Will you know me in two years? Okay then. Knock Knock. Whos their? I thought that you said you would know me.
Q: How do you prick a Bobby?
A: With a Bobby Pin!