Category Archives: Asian Jokes

Foreign Exchange Rates

A tourist from China was traveling to New York City for a two
week vacation. He went to the bank as soon as he arrived in
order to exchange his Chinese money for American money. He gave
the teller 1000 yuan, and the teller in turn gave him 150
dollars.

A week went by, and the tourist had used up his money, so he
returned to the bank. He gave the teller another 1000 yuan, but
this time the teller only gave him 125 dollars. Seeing the
difference, the man angrily asked the teller in his broken
English why last week he received 150 dollars for the same
amount of money. The teller replied, “Fluctuations.”

Flustered, the tourist responded, “Well fluck choo crazy
Americans too!”

Osma Bin Laden

Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel
when they stopped at a small town. Bin Laden gets off the camel
and lifts up its tail and looks at the camel’s butt, just then a
guy comes over and says, “What are you doing?”

Osama replies, “About 2 miles back I heard someone say, ‘Hey,
look at the two assholes on that camel.”

Chinese naming system

How do Chinese parents decide on a name for their newborn?

Throw a quarter in the garbage disposal. Ching Chong Chin Chang

Chinese Proverbs

…Man who run in front of car get tired.
…Man who run behind car get exhausted.
…War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.
…Man who tell one too many lightbulb jokes get burned out.
…Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
…Man who sit in tack get point.
…Man who lives in class house should change clothes in basement.

Confucius Says

Man who stand on toilet high on pot.

It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat
in girl.

Man who jizz in cash register come into money.

Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.

Man who fart in church must sit in own pew.

Man who finger girl having period get caught red handed.

Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.

Baseball wrong–man with four balls cannot walk.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.

Learn to masturbate–come in handy.

Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock.

Man who buy drowned cat must pay for wet pussy.

Virgin like balloon–one prick, all gone.